


i'm alright here in your arms, darling

by unsaved_misc



Series: carmatt adventures [7]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, supermega
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Hurt No Comfort?? kinda, M/M, Sad, hand holding, inspired by run cried the crawling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:35:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25269217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsaved_misc/pseuds/unsaved_misc
Summary: they have to be apart for a short time.
Relationships: Carson Tucker/Matt Watson
Series: carmatt adventures [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1831831
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	i'm alright here in your arms, darling

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaa i wrote this all today!! i spent most of the day working on it and im starting to notice i really like writing angsty sad stuff :)) i hope u enjoy!!
> 
> i also recommend listening to the song i mentioned while u read!!

“i wish you didn’t have to go.”  
carson’s voice sounds strangely small, coming from the passenger’s side of the car, still scratchy from sleep. it was so early that it was dark out, the sky a deep indigo that was beginning to lighten. in the weird time between day and night, matt always felt strangely content, except for today. there was a sort of weird melancholy behind it, and he knew why. he glances briefly over at carson, who he assumed had fallen asleep a second time. instead, carson was staring out of the window, hair messy and tangled. 

“i know.” matt replies, running a hand through his own messy locks. they both know matt has to leave, and they both know he can’t stay. he’ll come back, of course, but it’s still going to be weird without him there. and matt is always used to having carson around: whether it be a hand on his back as he’s working on music, sitting hand in hand on the couch while they rewatch ‘the truman show’ for the billionth time, or eating breakfast together that harry cooked. carson hides behind his fork, a silly smile on his face. the way carson clings to him when they kiss, how he sighs contentedly when matt’s lips are on his. matt has so much love for carson that it makes his bones ache, his heart hurt. it’s like there’s too many feelings to sort through, all tangled up in his chest in some sort of weird knot. he glances at carson again, and sees the boy staring at him. his eyes are puffy, weary.  
“i’m surprised you’re even awake right now.” matt quips, trying to lighten the mood. a smile manages to come across carson’s face. that’s all that matt wanted.  
“of course i’m awake. i wanted to be there to say goodbye.” carson notes, and his fingers slip into matt’s hand. matt squeezes, and carson squeezes back. it’s a sort of love language between them. they go quiet, and matt concentrates on the tangerine glow of the streetlights as they approach the airport.

↹

they walk into the airport holding hands. it took matt a while to get used to the whole public affection thing, carson too. it wasn’t really spoken, the day they started holding hands or had arms around each other in public, and at this point really, matt didn’t care if anyone saw him. he was normally affectionate with close friends anyway, so people could interpret it any way they wanted to. matt knew that with fame and relationships, there came jealous and rude people, but he paid no mind to any of that stuff. it mattered more to focus on carson, he thought. he could feel carson’s palms were sweaty, but he didn’t say anything about it. they had to get all the usual shit taken care of, getting tickets and checking bags. carson was quiet, maybe abnormally quiet. now, they were standing and waiting for matt’s flight to be called.  
“you’ll be okay while i’m gone, right?” matt asked, looking at carson, who was drenched in one of matt’s jackets and oversized t-shirts. carson looked up at him with big brown eyes, chewing the corner of his lip.  
“yeah, i’ll be okay.” it didn’t sound convincing, but matt nodded. carson picked at a hangnail on his finger, eyelashes fluttering. matt wanted nothing more than to bring carson with him, but he knew carson had to work on shit while he was gone. matt just took in a shaky breath and looked ahead, tapping his foot impatiently.  
“take pictures on the plane and make sure you send ‘em to me.” carson added, and matt nodded.  
“i will, cars’.” he said with a brief smile, fading when he heard his flight called over the intercom. their eyes met for a moment, and matt could see the sadness plain on carson’s tired face. he opened his arms wide, letting carson come forward and rest his head on matt’s chest. arms hugged him tightly around his torso, fists grasping at the fabric of matt’s sweater.  
“promise you’ll call every day.” carson said, muffled, and matt kissed the top of the boy’s head, nodding even though carson couldn’t see him.  
“i promise.”  
“i love you, matt.”  
“i love you too, carson.”  
the pair didn’t break apart for a moment, the fear that matt would miss his flight hardly even a present thought in his head. feeling the warmth of carson in his arms, he wished he could take that feeling with him. but, he knew he had to go. he could feel carson still grasping at him even when matt was pulling away, but the boy eventually let go. they gave each other a look, and their lips met without a care for anyone else around them. carson tasted like chapstick and cherries, his lips soft and sweet, and matt held the kiss for a few seconds before he let go.  
“i gotta go, cars’.” matt mumbled, and carson nodded. matt grabbed his bags and gave carson a smile. “i’ll call you when i get there.” carson nodded again, giving a small smile, and matt turned to go. it felt shitty, leaving carson in the middle of the airport like that, but matt knew he couldn’t stay forever. he squeaked across the white tile, following the throng of people moving toward the gate, and he turned one last time. carson hadn’t moved, hugging matt’s jacket tighter around himself and watching him go. matt had to look away.

↹

matt slips his airpods in when he gets on the plane, the pilot announcing they’re finally ready for takeoff. he has a stick of gum in his mouth, hoping his ears don’t pop, and a neck pillow harry had saved for future flights. he presses shuffle, and ‘run cried the crawling’ by agnes obel turns on. the somber music fills up his chest, and he takes a deep breath, staring wistfully out the window. he sees the airport, the large windows, and wonders if carson is still there, watching his plane leave. they start rolling, eventually soaring into the sky as soft strings and echoing vocals hit against matt’s ears. he closes his eyes, feeling the light turbulence, the shaking feeling in his arms, and wishes carson’s hand was in his right now so he could squeeze it tight. and carson always squeezes back. always.

**Author's Note:**

> if u enjoyed let me know <33


End file.
